"How fortunate for her," he says and there's bitterness in his words. Resentment that festers and swarms but is tamped down by decades of discipline and fear.
What the file did or did not say doesn't have much to do with what has him staring at Istradez for another long moment before he looks away.
Then he speaks.
"This is not something I want told to others. This is something I will tell you, because it will be your graduation that pays for it, and while I am a wastrel, I try to be reasonable about it." He looks down to his hands.
"My father's death was because of a curse, one that would have killed Ligia and myself as well: it's master had died for unrelated reasons, a heart problem, and it was running on the last orders it had been given, hunting for our bloodline. To trap the creature that would have murdered us both, a Flaw needed to be sacrificed, and Ligia, perfectionist that she is, offered hers for the purpose of our plan. She told me that she wanted it gone, that if there was a Flaw to her, it should be removed. After all, she is not a thaumaturge; her Flaw had no use to her, gave her no power."
He breathes out slowly.
"And it worked, of course. We are both alive. The beast was bridled once more and I share a mind with the one who holds it's reins; it will never trouble us again." The drop comes then. "But my sister is not who she was."
He doesn't look at Istradez.
"She is a ghost. Her drive, her purpose, her hunger for success is gone. Her fire is gone." A hard breath. "Oh, she would make a proper wife for any number of Warsaw's bachelors these days, with the family money, the successful store... but her. My sister." He shakes his head. "She's gone. And she is not happy or upset or... anything. She is passive. Agreeable." He swallows. "I'd rather have died than this and rest assured that I do not long for death, far from it."
Now he turns to look at Istradez.
"I had her for weeks after 15 years apart and now, even in death, my father has taken her from me. So yes, Istradez. I am here for her."
He doesn't quite know what that means, what the Flaw means, what the word implies, but he understands this. He understands Wiktor making a choice, a choice that Ligia had asked for, and watching it ruin her.
The parallel wasn't intentional. Even telling him this, right now, wasn't intentional. That's more planning than Wiktor does. But when Istradez had made his shitty little comment, someone who should fucking know better, it had all come spilling out.
Seeing her again to get the donuts had only made the wound fresh again.
"A choice she made with a gun against her head?" He pauses and shakes his head. "No, more important: a gun against mine?" He breathes out in a single, harsh exhale. "She knows what it would have been, for me to give up my Flaw, that I would have been left with nothing, not even my mind." How many of his letters had she read of his lunatic ravings, unable to know truth from vision from dream? Not to mention that thaumaturgy had always been his life. His folly too, but it has shaped him, from the ground up. It is the only way that he has ever and will ever serve as a legacy to his father. "She did what she always does: she looked at the numbers, figured out the best price to pay for what she needed, and she paid it." A breath out. "But she is not a thaumaturge. And she did not know... how high the cost truly was."
He folds his hands.
"If she is returned to herself and she wishes to return to how she has been, without our lives on the line, I will pull her Flaw out from her myself. But I sincerely doubt that will be the case."
It's a lot. All of it. He feels cornered at the moment, like Wiktor is trying to make a pointed statement. That he's trying to push all of this out. And Istra feels something he hasn't felt in a long time - fear. It wells up in his stomach and chest, threatening to burst out.
He reads something in his words, in his story, that he doesn't want to. He reads change. He reads separation. He takes a breath to calm himself.
"Then I will do my best to graduate," he says and even heads can hear the shake in his words.
"Oh, for fuck's sake, Istradez. That's-" he snorts and shakes his head. "No. That isn't why I told you that. For goodness sake, just keep your shitty comments about my sister to yourself." He glares at him just a little. "I just thought you would understand when I said it was for her that it was important."
He looks away then.
"You want to call me a piece of shit because you're frustrated? Call me a piece of shit. But keep her out of it."
The knitting is imperfect, sloppy with a hint of frustration. He doesn't knitting because he likes it. He does it because Mikodez knits. He learned it to be more like his brother.
The needles themselves hold his anger and tension, his fear at separation. The tie of the threads together was made with shaking fingers, revealing Istradez's worries at being unwound from his brother in the wake of Wiktor's story.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 05:43 pm (UTC)"My father separated us. It was never my choice. Until he died, I could not return to Warsaw." He looks back. "And I am here for her."
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 05:46 pm (UTC)Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 06:51 pm (UTC)No words. What does one say to something like that anyway?
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 07:02 pm (UTC)"Is there something I can help you with, Wiktor?" he asks, terse.
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 07:22 pm (UTC)Then he speaks.
"This is not something I want told to others. This is something I will tell you, because it will be your graduation that pays for it, and while I am a wastrel, I try to be reasonable about it." He looks down to his hands.
"My father's death was because of a curse, one that would have killed Ligia and myself as well: it's master had died for unrelated reasons, a heart problem, and it was running on the last orders it had been given, hunting for our bloodline. To trap the creature that would have murdered us both, a Flaw needed to be sacrificed, and Ligia, perfectionist that she is, offered hers for the purpose of our plan. She told me that she wanted it gone, that if there was a Flaw to her, it should be removed. After all, she is not a thaumaturge; her Flaw had no use to her, gave her no power."
He breathes out slowly.
"And it worked, of course. We are both alive. The beast was bridled once more and I share a mind with the one who holds it's reins; it will never trouble us again." The drop comes then. "But my sister is not who she was."
He doesn't look at Istradez.
"She is a ghost. Her drive, her purpose, her hunger for success is gone. Her fire is gone." A hard breath. "Oh, she would make a proper wife for any number of Warsaw's bachelors these days, with the family money, the successful store... but her. My sister." He shakes his head. "She's gone. And she is not happy or upset or... anything. She is passive. Agreeable." He swallows. "I'd rather have died than this and rest assured that I do not long for death, far from it."
Now he turns to look at Istradez.
"I had her for weeks after 15 years apart and now, even in death, my father has taken her from me. So yes, Istradez. I am here for her."
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 07:32 pm (UTC)That parallel isn't entirely lost on him.
"And so you are undoing the choice she made?"
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 07:44 pm (UTC)Seeing her again to get the donuts had only made the wound fresh again.
"A choice she made with a gun against her head?" He pauses and shakes his head. "No, more important: a gun against mine?" He breathes out in a single, harsh exhale. "She knows what it would have been, for me to give up my Flaw, that I would have been left with nothing, not even my mind." How many of his letters had she read of his lunatic ravings, unable to know truth from vision from dream? Not to mention that thaumaturgy had always been his life. His folly too, but it has shaped him, from the ground up. It is the only way that he has ever and will ever serve as a legacy to his father. "She did what she always does: she looked at the numbers, figured out the best price to pay for what she needed, and she paid it." A breath out. "But she is not a thaumaturge. And she did not know... how high the cost truly was."
He folds his hands.
"If she is returned to herself and she wishes to return to how she has been, without our lives on the line, I will pull her Flaw out from her myself. But I sincerely doubt that will be the case."
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 07:50 pm (UTC)He reads something in his words, in his story, that he doesn't want to. He reads change. He reads separation. He takes a breath to calm himself.
"Then I will do my best to graduate," he says and even heads can hear the shake in his words.
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 07:56 pm (UTC)"Oh, for fuck's sake, Istradez. That's-" he snorts and shakes his head. "No. That isn't why I told you that. For goodness sake, just keep your shitty comments about my sister to yourself." He glares at him just a little. "I just thought you would understand when I said it was for her that it was important."
He looks away then.
"You want to call me a piece of shit because you're frustrated? Call me a piece of shit. But keep her out of it."
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 07:58 pm (UTC)And he points a needle at him.
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 08:00 pm (UTC)Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 08:02 pm (UTC)"I think I need a walk.'
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 08:05 pm (UTC)"Enjoy the reading," is all he says.
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 08:19 pm (UTC)Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 08:30 pm (UTC)Well, he's a thaumaturge. It's never that simple.
Re: upon seeing the pairing
Date: 2025-07-10 08:34 pm (UTC)The needles themselves hold his anger and tension, his fear at separation. The tie of the threads together was made with shaking fingers, revealing Istradez's worries at being unwound from his brother in the wake of Wiktor's story.